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Integrational Dialogue
Talking Yourself Into Wholeness They say that the most important relationship is the relationship you have with yourself, and that the key to most successful relationships is communication. So it follows that it would be helpful to communicate regularly with yourself. Distant Rumblings The fact is, our bodies are talking to us all the time, but frequently we don't listen. Both through physical sensations and our emotions the body has much to say to us. However, for many people these communications are all but a distant, meaningless rumble or even troublesome somethings that must be suppressed or endured. We also receive much communication from our psychic, inner selves. Sounds, smells and visions, fleeting and intangible, these intuitions are often ignored or else seem to be expressed in some alien language. From within our minds, representations of family members, younger selves, bosses, friends, old school teachers, celebrities, advertisers and a host of others speak to us. They reflect, on many levels, our internalised beliefs. We can be greatly influenced by our internal dialogue and yet it often goes unexamined, unquestioned and according to habitual patterns. Have you ever stopped and listened to who it is that's doing the talking inside your head? You might be surprised. ...More distant rumbling. Plain English So what if it were possible for us to have some kind of translator that could put all of these communications into plain English? And what if we were then to engage in a loving and constructive dialogue with the many fragmented parts of ourselves; the parts of us that we have exiled, the parts that we fear and the parts that we deny? Surely such clear and conscious communication would bring new understanding and with new understanding could come acceptance and integration. The fact is, these translations are more available than you might think. If you have a willingness to communicate openly and honestly and are prepared to use a little imagination, then you can, quite literally, give your inner-world a voice and allow, what I have called, your 'Integrational Dialogues' to begin. Practically Speaking The approach you take to your self dialogues will be very individual. If you already write a journal you may find that you can set up Integrational Dialogues within the scope of your daily writing. A written dialogue can be a powerful way to access the truth of the parts of yourself. It is important to set your intention, giving a clear focus to your writing. You may find it helpful to begin by writing an intention-oriented heading along the lines of 'Conversing with the fear I feel in my belly' or 'Getting the message from my heart' - something that feels right for you It is important to record, not only the words of all aspects, but also the other facets of your experience. This allows them to be outwardly expressed and validated. It releases them into the realm of physical experience. However you might prefer to do this in meditation, using visualisation techniques. You can let the conversation take place internally, however I absolutely recommend speaking it out loud. Like writing, speaking gives an outward expression of the internal experience; literally 'getting it out of your system'. You might like to speak onto a tape. While there is no need to have a record, some people like to have one (and a tape recorder can also give a sense of 'purpose' to speaking out loud). Nuts & Bolts What follows is an overview of some of the important points of Integrational Dialoguing. I must emphasise that while I am about to give a fairly structured outline, it is best to go with what feels right for you at any particular time, rather than sticking rigidly to a particular format. So, the essence of an Integrational Dialogue is this: In your imagination create a loving environment where truth can be spoken and help is available. Contact the part of yourself that you wish to speak to and allow it to communicate with you in consciousness. Then, in a dynamic interaction, let what needs to be said be said. If as a result of this communication some inner or outer action needs to occur (for example forgiveness, letting go of something or a behavioural change) then let that happen or commit to it as appropriate. Getting Connected An important aspect of this kind of work is that it is most honestly and productively done in a state of connection to Source / All That Is / God / Universal Consciousness - or whatever you choose to call the divine intelligence that flows through everything. There are many documented ways to achieve this state. I have included just one, which is explained briefly: 1. Begin with a prayer. Invite Christ Consciousness within you. Ask to be used as a vehicle of truth and ask that only truth be spoken (be open to experiencing whatever your truth might be). 2. If you are doing this in preparation for an exercise or some other purpose, make a clear statement of intent. 3. Visualise white light flowing in through the top of your head and filling every cell of your body. Feel yourself as white light and bring your consciousness into your heart centre. Now allow your light, your self, your consciousness to expand infinitely in all directions (in front, behind, to the left, to the right, above and below in turn) and truly experience your boundless eternal nature. However, it is important to find a technique that suits you personally. So before you begin any dialogue, get connected! Create A Safe Place To Talk If you were about to have a difficult conversation with someone, you might arrange to meet them somewhere where you both felt comfortable and safe, and somewhere that was conducive to dialogue. So give the same courtesy to yourself. There are many places you could visualise that would serve this purpose well. Perhaps a plush boardroom, a campfire, a tipi, a temple or a beautiful garden. Or, possibly, a sanctuary you had as a child or some other place where you feel very safe. You can create this safe place in your imagination, knowing that it's nature is love and acceptance - unconditionally. Ask For Help Of course sometimes we find it difficult to know how to respond to what has been said to us in a constructive way. And we don't always know how to move on from where we are. And some of the parts that we might like to speak to may have been treated very badly for a long time and be unwilling to talk to us at all, so they might need reassurance and encouragement. Not all of us have the skills necessary to facilitate this, and those that do may find that when it comes to themselves, all their skills go out the window! So wouldn't it be helpful if there could be some kind of mediator present or perhaps an advisor who has access to great wisdom? So, by now, you might not be surprised to find that if you are open and willing to use a little more imagination, you can have access to just the help you need. All you need to do is to imagine that you have with you, in your safe place, a guide or advisor who can give you the help you need. This would be someone who is deeply connected to truth. Someone who is filled with love and divine understanding. It could be one of the great spiritual teachers, an ascended master, a saint, an angel or some other person or being that is appropriate for you. You can ask for a specific guide or just allow the right one to present themselves. Of course you are not limited in the help you can get. If you want an 'expert' in a particular area, invite one along. If you feel that a chorus of angels will help - invite them along. Lately I have tended to invite Christ, two Angels and the loving Soul of my Grandpa! So trust that you can have the support that you need. You only have to ask for it. Talking To Your Body If your Liver had something to say to you, what might it say? When you decide to talk with specific parts of your body, you may find that you get visual imagery of that part of your body. There may be some aspect of it which seems in need of particular attention - this could be where some emotion or trauma is being held. Be receptive to what is radiating from it and be open to processing any emotion or memory that has been stored there. You might also imagine the consciousness of that particular body area or organ to have some kind of human form with whom you can speak directly. You might send your consciousness to the organ or bring its consciousness into your safe place. Talking To Emotions Again with emotions, you can give them 'human form' or whatever feels right and then speak with that form. Sometimes emotions can be difficult to connect with - we fear that they will overwhelm us and so we put some kind of block or barrier between us and them. In these situations work with what you have and begin by speaking to the block itself. The block could be represented by literally anything. For instance you might come up against a wall, or a void, or even a wild animal. You may find a suffocating blanket or a corked bottle that has some emotion trapped inside. So be open to what you might find and get curious. Ask it about it's purpose; what is it hiding, protecting or constraining? You might find that it is willing to talk with the emotion, and act as a middleman. If you engage in this process with love and respect, you will soon be able to communicate with the emotion directly and begin to seek a true and mutual understanding. Talking To People If you are talking to the people in your head and you find that they are just unconstructively running their patterns over and over - ask them to speak from their souls, the divine part within them. Ask them to say what needs to be said. Working With Visions And Memories Within memories and visions are often people with whom you can talk. If not, then there may be objects or animals with whose consciousness you can speak. The memory may have an essence about it with whom you can communicate. If you get stuck, just ask your guide - 'what needs to happen here?' Be aware that these dialogues are dynamic and uniquely yours. If you ask 'to whom or to what am I here to talk to?' and you are open, you will receive the answer. Integration During these dialogues be flexible. Allow yourself to intuitively ride your imagination. Be dynamic. Use the skills you have and if you need other resources, ask for them. Ask your guide what would help you. If there are non-verbal processes that need to occur, let that be OK. If you get into something that seems too difficult to handle, give your guide the power to do whatever is necessary to make it fine. Do not underestimate the power and validity of your imagination and know that the scope of your imagination encompasses the creative use of all your senses. If you are not a particularly visual person you might just get a strong sense of being in your safe place and a feeling of connection with your guide. Most of all relax and have fun! I laugh at myself for writing that, knowing that for years I read this kind of statement in books and thought 'Yeah, right! How am I supposed to relax and be terrified at the same time?'. Well the best I can tell you is to give yourself a break - you don't have to relax, but give yourself the space to practice. When I first learned to drive, I wondered how I'd ever be able to change the tape while I was driving - I couldn't take my eyes off the road without swerving! As I drove more and more, my skill and my confidence grew and I was soon able to do other things at the same time. So practice! Finally, remember to talk to the parts of yourself that you consider successes and find out their secret! Some advice from your expansive emotions such as Joy and Happiness can do great things to lift you in a tough spot. Just ask yourself what would Joy or Happiness say to this? Wholeness This article has focussed a great deal on the idea of 'separate' aspects or parts of Self. However, it must be said that, while this is an extremely useful concept for the purposes of self understanding and evolution, the truth is that we are very much a whole being. Integrational Dialoguing is really about harmonising the whole and this truth must not be lost. However I believe that using this kind of approach has enormous potential for allowing people to speed their evolution and free themselves of years of burdensome 'stuff'. I get very excited about working with these techniques and hope that you will try it for yourself and begin talking yourself into wholeness. Acknowledgement Joel Young |
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