Soul Centred Changework
written by Martyn Carruthers
Soul Centred Changework (Soulwork) is an integrated model for effective personal development in a frame of individual changework. It is based on the subjective experience of an integrated identity and on the re-evaluation of life's experiences from this integrated perspective. Soulwork originated while modelling the psychotherapeutic techniques used by native Hawaiian healers, and incorporates modified techniques from other methodologies, particularly from systemic family therapy and neuro-linguistic programming (NLP).
While the description of Soulwork that follows is mostly applicable for counsellors, many of these skills can be applied to all forms of interpersonal professional communication. A subsequent article will describe the application of these skills to provide a "high integrity workplace".
Soulwork counselling includes four overlapping phases. The first helps a person to find and stabilise an experience of integrity and "connectedness". All subsequent changework is made with reference to this ongoing experience, referred to as "Soul". During phase two, a person can re-evaluate his or her relationships "from" this experience of integration, and during the third phase person re-evaluates traumatic or emotional memories. Phase four helps a person to re-evaluate his or her role models, and to choose new role models that inspire the creation and fulfilment of life goals.
Soulwork counselling helps a person to find complete solutions for neurotic and addictive behaviour, e.g.: compulsions, unhealthy relationship patterns and emotional problems. Soulwork also alleviates many psychosomatic1 symptoms, and seems to accelerate the healing of somatic disease.
In summary, Soulwork counselling offers effective ways to accelerate personal integration, improve relationships, increase self-acceptance and inspire the achievement of life-goals. During this counselling, many disease symptoms may lessen or disappear. This article explores and explains "Soulwork" concepts.
Soul Centred Changework is based on the interwoven concepts that:
Soul is an experience of identity.
Soul is an experience of connectedness.
Soul is an experience of integration.
Soul organises life experiences.
Soul can guide a meaningful life.
Soul is an experience of identity
Soul refers to an experience, not a theory nor a philosophy. Soul experience is described as a deep core of human identity, an essence of self. This experience is neither egotistical, nor logical, and clients often call it "the real me" or "my true self". Soulwork provides people with ways to stabilise this "identity experience", and express this experience in their lives.
Soul is an experience of connectedness
Soul is usually described as an experience of "connectedness", perhaps to other people, perhaps to all living things, perhaps to the planet, or perhaps to the universe. The key elements to experiencing this connectedness are resolving inner conflicts, resolving limiting beliefs and accepting oneself.
Soul is an experience of integration
People often talk and act as if they are fragmented. Comments like "Part of me wants this, but another part of me wants that" or "I don't like the part of me that..." are common. Such "parts" often seem to be in conflict. Soul may be described as the identity that exists before fragmentation. Soulwork allows a person to resolve inner conflicts by acknowledging the wisdom with which the conflicts were created.
Soul is an experience of integrity
Soul seems to organise the ongoing multi-level relationships between a person and that person's environment. During Soul experience, people often say that every relationship and memory, no matter how pleasant or unpleasant, has or had an essential purpose. From Soul, a person can re-evaluate any relationship, and choose to maintain those relationships that support the expression of Soul in everyday life. Decisions made from Soul are characterised by clarity, responsibility and honesty - integrity.
Soul can guide a meaningful life
During Soulwork, people often describe Soul experience as "the true me" or "my highest potential". A person usually visualises a "perfected" image of their future self, or finds a compelling "voice of conscience". This visualised or heard Self seems to act as a bridge between the extremely abstract experience of connectedness and the extremely concrete details of everyday life. A person can choose to refer to Soul for insight, guidance and integrity for any life situation.
Soul can guide the re-evaluation of relationship bonds.
A relationship bond refers to a feeling of connection to another person, a feeling that motivates change in values, beliefs and behaviours. Such bonds are conditions for relationships. E.g. "I am lazy. With this belief I feel connected to an important relative who I perceive as lazy". Each bond can be evaluated from Soul, and changed if desired. Evaluating and adjusting these bonds changes relationships. A person can choose to relate in ways that support his or her highest values.
Soul can guide the re-evaluation of experiences.
Any experience, pleasant or unpleasant, may motivate changes in values, beliefs and behaviours. E.g. "I was abandoned by my first love and I am still so angry that I will never love another person". As each experience is re-evaluated from Soul, it becomes a valuable learning resource. A person can choose to accept and use the lessons of each experience in alignment with their goals.
Soul can guide the re-evaluation of life.
Any goal may motivate changes in values, beliefs and behaviours. E.g. "It is important that I control my partner, so I must believe that my partner is mistaken, and then I can do what I want". Goals, and the consequences of achieving them, can be re-evaluated from Soul. A person may choose to make congruent goals (congruent means that all parts of a person agree) so that each step to a goal increases the sense of fulfilment associated with that goal.
In Soul Centred Changework, Soul refers to an experience of integration and connection that can guide the experience of life. However, the word "Soul" has many other meanings. In this context, there are many things that Soul is not.
What is Soul not?
Soul is not a counter for a religion to collect. Soulwork has little in common with philosophical or religious discussions. Yet a philosophy or religion that encourages integrity, quality relationships, self-acceptance and fulfilling life goals, encourages a person to experience Soul.
Soul is not a trance state. During Soulwork, most people spontaneously experience many altered states, often alternating between increasingly "deep" trances (while researching internal communications) and increasingly non-trance experiences of external reality (while researching what is really wanted). The experience of Soul seems to be a simultaneous experience of trance, "downtime", and it's opposite, "uptime".
Soul is not a personality part. However, accepting any "part" is a step towards experiencing Soul. A part that is lazy, a part that likes chocolate, a part that loves beauty - accepting all or any of these is a step to Soul. A personality part can be likened to a facet of a diamond - the rainbow reflections of light within a diamond express the relationship between a person, their facets and the world.
Soul is not a relationship, although Soul may be expressed in relationships. Soul is closer to that which exists between people, to that sense of "connectedness" which is neither one person nor the other. Soul is closer to a sense of "resonance" that is described when people unconditionally accept each other.
Soul is not an emotional state. During Soulwork, emotions are considered to be useful communications of other-than-conscious identity "parts". Accepting emotions as communication is a step towards experiencing Soul.
Soul is not inner dialogue, which seems to be hallucinated communications between "parts". The function of inner dialogue seems to be to learn from the past, to analyse the present and to plan for the future. Following Soulwork integration, people often say "It's quiet inside me!" or "I'm finally at peace!"
Soul is not a desire, although a desire may be a way to experience Soul. Goal questions can help a person find an "ultimate" desire, which is usually some form of "I want to fulfil my life!" Such a desire may motivate a person to experience Soul.
Soul is not a value, yet values may be a way to experience Soul. "What is important to you?" "What is important about what is important?" A person's answers typically become increasingly abstract (e.g. "That's important so that I can spread beauty into the world"), then metaphoric (e.g. "That's so important - it's like an endless sea") and finally describe an experience of connectedness.
Soul is not ego, yet a full experience of ego may lead to Soul experience. Soul can be described as the ego of the ego. A person's "ego" can be likened to an adolescent personality "part", dissociated from "identity" and overtly searching for respect or attention (or other shallow substitutes for love).
Soul is not a body, nor contained by a body, although a body sensation (or symptom) may lead towards Soul experience. Soulwork assumes that bodies communicate with "feelings" and "symptoms", and that every communication has a positive benefit. Finding the benefit is a step towards Soul.
Soul is not art, although music, a picture, a statue or a poem may help a person experience Soul. Similarly, Soul is not the world, although many places may help a person experience Soul. A ruin, a mountain scene, a country garden or a home may be places where one feels open to that which is neither internal nor external. Places where one can look at the world with a sense of magic, a sense of mystery, and a sense of Life.
Recognising Soul Experience
An experience of Soul can be recognised from spontaneous postural changes and from a person's descriptions. Questions can help determine whether that person's experience is similar to the ongoing, limitless experience called Soul, or whether the experience is a temporary feeling of resourcefulness.
A person experiencing Soul spontaneously sits or stands erect, with a symmetric body and face, shoulders back, and with the head tilted up. Eyes may be open or closed, usually with soft facial muscles and "pink" facial skin. Breathing is deep and regular, and structural muscles are relaxed, without being flaccid. A seated person will usually put their hands on their knees, palms facing up, and a standing person will normally put their hands away from their body, palms facing forwards.
A person's descriptions of Soul experience are often paradoxical. A person may say that he or she can examine their own life, and their relationships with others, with intense love and with utter neutrality at the same moment. A person may say that he or she is experiencing normal awareness at a "higher" or "more profound" level. A person may simply say "I am awake" or "I am totally here".
A person experiencing Soul may say that he or she can clearly experience all emotions and inner sensations, while simultaneously being fully aware of all their external senses. This person may spontaneously comment about a sensation of inner peace.
Soul experiences are often described with abstract metaphors. A person may say, "I am a drop of water in an infinite ocean", "I am a spark of eternal fire", or "I am a child of the universe". People who have experienced Soul usually quickly agree, while others may try to interpret such metaphors literally or analytically. Soul is often described as being "fully human", as people attempt to describe the mystery, magic and enchantment of connectedness.
Sequence of Soul Centred Changework
Phase 1: Re-evaluate Self
1a: Build trust, respond to objections, dissolve transferences and define goals
The first phase of Soulwork is to build trust by responding to the client's unconscious objections. Such objections (e.g. a person says, "I'm very pleased to be here", while simultaneously shaking the head from side to side, perhaps signalling "Maybe I'm not pleased") are recognised and the underlying objection is resolved. During this phase, unconscious transferences (e.g. a consultant behaves as if a client is the consultant's friend, or a client behaves as if a consultant is a parent) are recognised and dissolved.
A consultant can resourcefully respond to a client's unspoken objections and dissolve transferences to build a basis for a trusting relationship. A client must trust the consultant before a client will define important personal goals. (Resolving unconscious objections, dissolving transferences and defining goals are essential skills for all subsequent Soulwork.)
1b: Integration - resolve conflicts and recover identity
Conflicts arise as people define what they want. (E.g. "I want a committed relationship AND I want to have affairs" (mutually exclusive goals), or "I want to give me " (I want to control this person AND I want something). Each resolved conflict is a step towards integrity, a step to Soul. Occasionally, a person has dissociated their core identity while under stress (e.g. during abuse or trauma) or has identified with another person (while under stress as a child). Recovering identity and dissolving identifications are based on modified Hawaiian healing techniques, ho'oponopono (healing families) and moe uhane (healing using interactive hypnosis, also called "dreaming together").
1c: Soulwork - remember: "I am Soul"
After integration (inner conflicts are reconciled and identity is recovered), a spontaneous Soul experience seems to be normal and natural. A person is encouraged to find meaningful symbols for this experience in each sensory system, so that the Soul experience can be easily be re-experienced later.
Phase 2: Re-evaluate Relationships
2a: Evaluate Significant Relationships
Although a person may have met many people, a person usually has relatively (pun intended) few relationships with strong feelings of connection or bonding. These "bonded" relationships are identified and re-evaluated from Soul. Dependency and co-dependency bonds are recognised, and a person can evaluate the consequences of ignoring or changing these bonds.2b: Create healthy bonds. Re-identify with Self
Each unwanted bond is changed. (E.g. "I feel connected to my ex-partner, although we have been separated for a long time. This prevents me from bonding to another partner"). Such bonds include limiting beliefs that act as conditions for unhealthy relationships, and prevent a person from defining life goals. (E.g. "I must believe that I am stupid to relate to , who believes that he or she is stupid. Because I am stupid, I cannot have what I want"). On completion, a person can maintain a sense of self within these significant relationships. Such relationships normally transform.
2c: Soulwork - "I and Others are Souls" At the end of this re-evaluation, a person can consider how he or she wishes to fulfil life. (E.g. "I can learn from a skill or skills that I can use to help me fulfil my life"). Other people can be seen as "Souls" following their own paths. A person gains choice in how and with whom to build relationships. (E.g. "I believed that I had to pretend I was stupid to maintain that relationship. I can now choose other ways to relate to that person, which may include saying goodbye." Phase 3: Re-evaluate Experiences
3a: Identify Significant Emotional Experiences
Of the thousands of events that most people have experienced, a person usually has few significant experiences, which are associated with strong emotions of anger, sadness and/or fear. These emotions can overwhelm a person and prevent the attainment of important goals. (E.g. "I am overcome with sadness when I think about how I have wasted my life. My sadness stops me from achieving my goals"). The source experiences of these emotions can be identified from Soul experience. These experiences often include abusive and traumatic events.
3b: Reliving the past with Soul guidance
Abusive, phobic or traumatic memories and their associated emotions can be re-evaluated. A person can re-live the memories while experiencing Soul, and can choose to accept previously ignored lessons. This acceptance is a basis for transforming associated emotions. On completion, a person often finds all emotions to be motivating. (E.g. "Any sadness about my past reminds me to make the most of my life now").
3c: Soulwork - "I always have been Soul"
After accepting emotions as important communications, a person can learn from any memory. People often say that their emotions were appropriate for their experience. Many people comment that they can clearly remember traumatic childhood events and feel immense love and pride for the younger self who survived such difficult times. A person can feel good while pondering these memories. Any emotion, no matter how pleasant or unpleasant, can motivate the achievement of important goals.
Phase 4: Re-evaluate Role Models
4a: Identify Significant Life Models
Most people have significant role models, from whom they have consciously or unconsciously learned behaviours and attitudes. (E.g. A person might say, "I wanted to be like , so I followed example"). A person can identify and re-evaluate role models from Soul, and choose whether or not to replace the role models and the imitated beliefs and behaviours.
4b: Re-model Life - relive memories with Soul-chosen role models
New role models may be chosen from Soul, and important memories can be selected and "re-lived", as if with the guidance of the new role models. (E.g."If this person had been my role model, what desirable lessons of living life would I have learned?"). A person can choose which new behaviours to actualise.
4c: Soulwork - "Each person is my teacher"
A person can decide exactly how, and with whom, he or she wishes to fulfil life. A person can assess other people as to what lessons are likely to be learned (and decide whether those lessons are wanted). A person can choose which influences, past and present, are desirable, and resolve any unwanted behaviour not already resolved, in alignment with that person's desire for living a meaningful life.
Summary of Soulwork Techniques
Each Soulwork technique is a step towards integrity and a step towards health, each building on the last step, to a person's overall goal, which is usually for a person to design and realise a meaningful life. From an experience of Soul, a person can identify their key relationships, key emotional experiences and key role models (all of which usually differ from a person's conscious assessment). Dealing with these key elements avoids trying to resolve every relationship, memory and model in the person's life, which might take a lifetime of therapy! (A person may still dislike certain things, have some unpleasant relationships and have some disagreeable memories. But if these issues do not intrude on that person's "sense of life" nor prevent the fulfilment of important goals - there may be little gain in changing them?).
Some people may not benefit from Soulwork. Examples are:
People who cannot communicate (E.g. people with brain damage or brain disease) People in extremely altered realities (E.g. psychotic behaviour, people using psychoactive drugs),
People who do not want adult responsibilities (E.g. adults who prefer childish behaviour),
People who are totally content with their life - their relationships, history and future.
People in the first two of these categories can be referred to appropriate professionals. People in the third category may benefit from the integration work that precedes Soulwork, but this person is unlikely to want to experience Soul, when they realise the responsibilities of living as Soul. People in the fourth category may be willing to teach us something...
Soul Centred Changework and Disease
As the roots of Soulwork are in a "healing" tradition, it may not be surprising that during and after Soulwork, many clients report spontaneous "healing" of various body symptoms. Blood chemistry suddenly stabilises, arthritis and allergies vanish, or migraines cease. Similarly for mental symptoms, people find that panic attacks fade away, addictions become unimportant or that compulsive behaviours seemingly evaporate.
If a person's goals include replacing symptoms of mental or physical disease, Soulwork techniques can be used with such symptoms directly. Symptoms are assumed to result from an unconscious desire for certain benefits. This includes "communication" with body parts and/or with the personality parts associated with the symptoms.
Sometimes a person may find that the benefits of a symptom outweigh the discomfort of having that symptom, and decide to keep the symptom. (E.g. A man, who had been diagnosed with diabetes, realised that changing his childish behaviours would probably "cure" his diabetes symptoms. However, he enjoyed being the "child" of his family, and was concerned that his becoming healthy would imperil the health of another family member. He chose to stay childish and to stay diabetic).
During Soulwork, symptoms are not sorted by medical diagnosis, or by severity, but are sorted by the benefit that the symptoms bring to a person's life. There appear to be four types of symptoms related to psychosomatic disease.
Symptoms that express inner conflicts may vanish during Phase 1
Reconciliation changework and integration helps alleviate the symptoms of mental and physical diseases that are based on or caused by inner conflicts, self-hatred, etc. (E.g. A person may say, "I don't like myself when I do this but I can't stop!") A person trying to avoid being seen as "lazy" may become "workaholic" and experience stress-related disease, such as digestion and heart problems.
Symptoms that express relationship problems may vanish during Phase 2
Relationship changework helps alleviate mental or physical symptoms, which are needed to maintain unhealthy relationships. (E.g. A person may say, "I am only cared for when I am ill") Or a person may have the same disease as another family member as a way of bonding to that person. (Some clients with symptoms similar to those of a parent, diagnosed as having a genetic "predisposition" to those symptoms, spontaneously recover from such symptoms during phase 2).
Symptoms that express emotions may vanish during Phase 3
Emotional changework helps alleviate mental and physical symptoms that seem to be based on overwhelming emotions resulting from past experiences. For example, a person may have had a traumatic or abusive experience, and has withheld feeling or expressing the emotion(s) related to that experience. Some diseases form in the same part of the body as a withheld emotion is felt, which is usually close to the centreline of the trunk and head2. (E.g., many people do not express anger, sadness or fear, and say, "I keep it inside me, bottled up"). Often, these people say they feel their anger in their bowel, stomach, heart or throat. These people frequently report medical symptoms in the same locations. Symptoms needed to imitate role models may vanish during Phase 4 Role Model changework helps to alleviate the symptoms of mental and physical symptoms that are usually based on modelling "unhealthy" people. For example, a person may have a similar symptom to a favoured teacher. (E.g. Some students of Milton Erickson, M.D. a famous psychiatrist who had suffered from poliomyelitis since his childhood, are reported to have had problems with stiff limb joints. Also, actors or actresses may role play unhealthy people - as when Dustin Hoffman role-played an autistic man in the film "Rain Man". I am told that such actors may subsequently require intensive psychotherapy.)
Training in Soul Centred Changework
Each person wishing to learn Soulwork is tested, usually during a introductory seminar, to ascertain whether that person is likely to be benefit from this intensive training. The test: can a person recognise and resolve another person's unconscious objections conversationally, while assisted by a trainer. For example, part of this test may be whether a person can dissolve a critical or "Yes, but..." objection, in a conversational format. Success in this requires that the person knows their own high values, and can find the high values of the other person, and can use both sets of values to build a "bridge of trust" between the two perspectives.
During Soulwork training, each skill is extensively demonstrated, discussed and then practised in student triads. Students observe, use and experience all Soulwork techniques, and learn how to learn from each Soulwork interaction. Soulwork students become intimately involved with their own personal development - and the development of each other.
Summary
Since a person's inner experience cannot be "wrong", Soulwork methodology is forever incomplete. Theories take second place to the subjective experience of each person, and each client may provide new insights and understanding to Soulwork.
A Soulworker does not offer advice, nor "do things" to people. Instead, a Soulworker helps each person to explore his or her choices, and to choose each "next step". A Soulworker does not lead, nor follow, but engages in an unusual communication that may be called a "Soul-to-Soul" relationship, which starts even before the other person experiences Soul. A Soulworker's task is to help each person find their choices, and explore the consequences of those choices, so that a person may find ways to get whatever they want.
What is Soulwork?
Soulwork is many things. Soulwork is the skills used and time taken to coach people build integrity. Soulwork is encouraging people to achieve fulfilling goals. Soulwork is helping people to define and create appropriate relationships. Soulwork is facilitating the identification and resolution of emotional experiences. Soulwork is helping people find inner motivation to plan and achieve their goals. Soulwork begins and ends with an experience of connectedness and integration. Integrated people can become their own teachers, guides, witnesses, mentors and therapists. Soulwork nourishes a person's inmost core. Soulwork is a re-evaluation of relationships - with oneself, with family, with friends and with the world. Soulwork is a way to express Love.
Acknowledgements
Soul Centred Changework originated with my study of Hawaiian "kahuna" healers, particularly Papa Henry of Hilo and Auntie Margaret Machado of Kealakekua. Janelle Doan (Professional Angel, Canada) taught me about pragmatic integrity and Soulful Relationships, and Annegret Hallanzy (Family Therapist, Germany) taught me that anything is possible and that fulfilment is real.
Although I have used and taught Soulwork in many countries, the majority of recent breakthroughs occurred in Poland. While many people have contributed, I am grateful beyond words to Kasia Jaskiewicz (Health Consultant, Warsaw) and Marylla Biernacik (Business Consultant, Warsaw) for their seemingly endless wisdom, encouragement and assistance, and for the occasional kicks in the pants. Also, I thank Jennifer Wilby for her patience in editing this article.
Finally, I thank my most demanding and least patient teachers, my clients, who continue to help me develop Soulwork philosophy and to fine-tune Soulwork techniques.
Martyn Carruthers
I was born in Wales. My background is health physics, working at nuclear facilities in Britain and Canada for many years. I also taught physics, so I explored Accelerated Learning, Hypnosis, NLP and Expert Modelling to create techniques for rapid learning. While teaching in Hawaii, I met a native healer who could effectively "heal" mental problems and physical diseases. I returned to Hawaii many times to try to duplicate his healing ability, however, this required that I understand pre-missionary Hawaiian healing in terms of family healing and spiritual evolution. This began with a practical concept of "Soul".
